What is your LOVE language?

Welcome back to the blog! I hope you guys enjoyed my last post and are back for more because today we are talking about one of my favorite topics!

Most of us think that the way we want to be loved is how others want to be loved as well. However, that is not the case.. There are 5 different love languages, and this is huge, because if you're not speaking the same language as your partner than you could be missing the signs completely. Things are not gonna go well because you're simply not going to understand each other. I also want to add that learning about love languages is beneficial for everyone and can be applied to any kind of relationship/friendship that you wish to strengthen.

Each person has desires for all 5 love languages but they are listed in a different unique order for each of us starting with the one you resonate with the most. So first, you need to find out what your love language is.

Through this process, you will get to know a lot about yourself. I learned about what my love language was by being let down a few times and then learning from those experiences which then helped me realize what I do and don't like. These tips can also help you find the right person for you.

The Five Love Languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation

2. Quality time

3. Receiving gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical touch

Let's go through each one a little deeper. If you like hearing I love you or compliments or meaningful words above everything then this is probably your top love language. If you notice that this is your partner's love language then make sure you give them genuine compliments and tell them you appreciate them.

The second love language is quality time. Do you value full and undivided attention and one on one time with everything put away and no distractions? These are things that make this type of person feel loved the most. Canceled plans or unwilling to listen are super hurtful to this type. If this is your partner's love language learn to listen better and spend time with them more. (this one is my top one)

The third love language is receiving gifts. Sure we all like receiving gifts but this type of person LOVES receiving gifts. Gifts to this type of person mean everything because it shows the love, thought and effort put into the gift. This type is not necessarily materialistic but it is the thought behind it. The cost usually doesn't matter but its the thought that counts.

Forth language is acts of service. Chores around the house or errands that ease the burden of responsibility are the love and characteristics of this love language. This can be as simple as offering to drive or offering or cook.

And lastly physical touch! This doesn't

necessarily mean sex, if hugs, cuddling, holding hands and thoughtful touches are the most important thing to you then this could be your love language. If their physical presence is crucial to you then that could be an indicator as well. Any kind of neglect or abuse would destroy this type of person or the relationship.

So which one do you most identify with? One of them should resonate with you the most. Think about each one and imagine your partner doing each one and try to see how you feel. You can also try examining things like your childhood, how did your parents express their love to you and what made you feel loved. That may have translated to how you now express and receive it. Another way is to ask yourself what your first instinct is when you wanna show someone you love them, trust your instinct. And the third way is to look at how you've been hurt deeply in the past. What hurt the most?

How you express love is how you like to receive it but you cannot neglect your partners love language if it happens to be different from your because what we think is an act of love may not be seen that way by your man/woman. So find your partners love language and speak it. Don't assume what it is, but talk to them about it.

Wishing you all love and happiness,

Your local marriage counselor (;